Day 210. Life purpose

Életcél.

Ijesztő még belegondolni is...

Very-very hard to find for me.
Sincerely I lost a lot of values that I had when I was a child. But I remember everything. I remember the feeling of easily flowing creativity.
But the memory of what makes me happy is lost in the storm of fears and doubts in myself, and in the angry jungle of this society we are living in now. The expectations, the thoughts that were forced onto me by society.

Deepak Chopra is saying something really-really simple about success:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwMXtWwqv6k

What would you do if you had all the time and money in the world? Do that, and you'll have all the time and the money of the world.

And later from another source this information comes to me:

"What a concept. That phrase is also the basis of the standard question when determining life purpose. What would you do if you didn’t need the money?"
(Source: http://www.intent.com/peacecorso/blog/work)

And tears get into my eyes.
Tears of desire, of wanting.
How much I desire to do that:

If I would have now all the money and time in the world, first I would go to the Chopra-Center, doing meditation course, than I would go to a nice place near the sea or the ocean, I would go there with my loved one called Kristóf, I would be with him, spend as much time together as we want 'cos we would have plety of free time, and I would sleep long in the mornings. And I would buy a big house after his dream, integrated with mine: it would stand on the top of a hill, so that the terrace of the house would stand out from the house itself and would reach out from the hill top with no ground under it. It would have a winter-garden, a very big kitchen, minimalist style interior, big spaces, big bathrooms and bedrooms, a nice garderobe room. It would all be a so called active house. I would learn to drive. I would have a metallic purple Lamborghini Diablo roadster and maybe another Lmbo too - engine modified for alternative energy source. I would by a house for my mother wherever she wants it. I would gather the choir around me, if they would want to come. We would sing and travel a lot. I would go to Peru, Cuba, Haiti, Caribbian Islands, Japan, India, China, Tibet, New Zealand, Island, Greenland, Madagascar, Oceania, all beautiful islands, Gran Canaria, Hawaii, Seyshelles-islands. I would have a studio, where I would make great music, I would sing, I would have a very good band, the choir could be involved. I would do Rou Gong Chuan kung-fu, and meditate a lot. Meanwhile all of that I would write some books about my life, and after it, about helping books about love, spirituality, personal development. My loved one would be the designer of all visual things in my creative work, and he would be my photographer. So I would do my things, and I would let him do his things, and I would bring him with me anywhere he wants to come with me.

Life basis is a relationship, which is basically unconditionally loving, living and good and safe and full of intimacy and sexuality, understanding, support, acceptance and unique way of living. Where we enjoy life. This is a life-alliance, where unconditional love allies us. Where we are fully open to each other, where we are attentive to each others needs, where we support each other, where we have spiritual connection to each other. Where we share everything.
Because sorrow shared is a half sorrow, and happiness and joy shared is double joy.
A life with every-day sunshine.

Yes at least I dare to be sinciere to myself: this kind of relationship is the most important thing in my life. As love is the most important thing in my life.

And than I would help a lot of people by supporting groups like the Chopra-center, like the Essence Foundation - where people can learn how to improve their lives, where peaople learn how to help themselves, how to be free. Maybe me myself would teach something.

I would enjoy so much this journey to these colorful, easy, sunny, love-filled pictures of my life...

***

Another chapter about what I love to do:

"

There is one tricky part in finding your passion: Whatever it is you love doing can come so easy to you that it’s hard to recognize. It may even look like something you should not be doing.

For example: One of my clients, who loves reading romance novels, for some strange reason thought this was not something appropriate to do. She had gotten it into her mind that reading novels was a guilty pleasure. Well, eventually she did admit her passion for juicy romance and today she is a published author of her own!

So, pay close attention to what lights you up and be ready to allow what seems mundane to be your talent!"

(Source: http://karinmanskecoaching.com/blog/?p=993)

So, I love to read about these kind of spiritual things. I like to listen to Abraham-Hicks - teachings, because they resonate for me. Because when I hear them, I have a feeling like this: yes!, and I feel the same logic and sense and energy inside of me, like they have. I find great joy when I talk to people, who work for helping people phsychically, and spiritually to improve their lives. I love to create in my thoughts all things I want. I love to imagine what a life I want to have. I love to write about my life, about my feelings, about my journey.

What would I do all the time if I could: taking singing lessons from professional teachers and being in a studio recording songs, singing, and than the big-big concerts with the band, and I wanted my significant other to come with me, or just visit me on the tour some time.

What gives me meaning and purpose? To love him. Him, my significant other. Open. Kristóf. To be with him. To make love with him. To have fun with him. To lough together. Just to walk together on the path. Just to be with him.

To live a life of advanture.

Travelling, growing in spirituality, love and peace. Snowboarding. Scubadiving. Skydiving.

...not the house is important, not to have it. But the beauty and the richness, the abundance, the welth, the emotional wellbeing and the freedom. The smell of the sunshine and the see. The mountains. The learning. To give to people what I have learned.

To have our names in peoples minds. As amazing, creative, free and good people.