Dreams-dreams-dreams

I figured, I write only when and if drama somehow arise in my life.

If there's no drama, there's nothing to write about.

Except that

I am in love.

But there's nothing to write about IT.

It is not

that I am in love with someone.

IT just is.

I dwell in love.

Intentionally and silently.

IT is not

good or bad.

Not happy or sad.

Not shiny and sizzly.

Well, sometimes it is rather shiny.

But the best is, it's always there.

And sometimes there is this waiting.

Waiting for a sign, for a coincidence, an idea or something that will lead me to my Destiny.

To the mission I have on the Earth.

And there are the things I like to do. And I don't want to do anything else than them, still I do some other things which I don't like to do. But I can find joy in everything.

Whatever I do I can be happy with it.

Well, what I do recently does not support my freedom now, but it does support my freedom in long term.

So everything can be anything depending how you want to interpret it.

So best if you give a big smile to the whole thing.

But besides all of this,

if I sit down with myself talking honestly to my heart,

I must admit I don't live the life which I want to live. Still there is this tiny little voice that sais - if you created this which is you want this. And that whatever there is you can accept it and love it for whatever it is and think about it as if you wanted it - for this or that reason.

But again: if I say I haven't created the life which I desire, which I feel in my heart I desire

because

I don't know HOW TO create it,

I lie.

Because for NOW I got all the knowledge how to create it.

So why don't I begin?

Or am I on track already?

Or am I lying to myself about that too?

Or that desire which I feel being in my heart about my dream-life --- is that really coming from my heart or is it coming from my conditioning?

Although as long as I can remember I always wanted that kid of life. When I was really young too. When I was a little child being at home with mummy dancing on the carpet, I knew what I wanted - simply what all of us wants -

abundance.

Rich, freedom, peace, all goodness of life.

Do I have it?

Partly.

Inside I have it.

Most of us say, it is all that matters. The inside rich.

But honestly: I desire outside abundance too.

Do I have it?

Partly yes.

I live in the rich part of the world. I have a place to live. I always have more than enough to eat. I have good clothes. There IS abundance around me, in this part of the world where I am.

But I never have enough money. - Enough for what? - I might ask.

Enough for a dream flat, a Lambo, travelling to exotic sunshiny places.

With a man who is the other half of my dream - life-alliance. Who walks together with me, has similar values or different which are in harmony with mine.

But good in all - I know what I want.

Maybe I could choose to dare to know even better.

Thank you for sharing.

I love you.