I'm so happy.
I am happy because I am free.
Nothing special happened in the outside.
Only inside.
∗ Freedom is not that which we search for in the outside, in politics, in economy, in relationships or in society. Freedom is that which we can find inside. And when we find a way to be free inside, nothing else in the outside will matter. ∗
∗ How wounded ever our minds and emotional body may be we can find a way to be free. Although it is not sure we will be happy at the same time. Because freedom is not when you can do anything you want. Freedom is that you can do anything you choose to want and be faithful to it. Freedom is not when you don't have responsibility. Freedom is when you can choose your responsibilites and be faithful to them. And one cannot be happy and joyful only by freedom, because we need love. Because love is our drive.∗
I am happy because I am free. I am free because I am here, and not out there somewhere at you trying to control the situation.
I am so happy for I do not want to solve your problem anymore.
That is tremendous freedom, lightness.
I know I need to deal only with my garbage.
And I am so sorry for going against the law of Universe. I am not sorry I tried to help. But the way I did it was not the best way. Not the most helpful or successful way...
And the best way to help others is to help ourselves, to keep ourselves fresh, whole and strong, so we can
listen.
'cos mostly it is the most we can do. It is the best thing we can do. If we can clear our minds, and just be there for this or that person we are sitting in front of. By listening only we can be there.
But to be able to listen we must keep our minds clean. If our minds are loud and crowded by thoughts of how to do things than we can not listen. And we must not go out there to solve one's problem, but keep our garden organized.
The biggest fights we fight with ourselves.
And solutions we always find inside of us.
I am free to love. You, myself, anyone. Because the burden of carrying your garbage is not on my shoulder anymore. Because I know my garbage so I am not afraid of it anymore. I'm not lost in it anymore. I may become lost in it once again if fear raises it's ugly head again, but for now I found peace.
However it all turns out.
I was such a lovable fool.
And so I am now. But a different one.
Not crying over spilled milk.
Whoever did whatever that may have brought hurt will pay for it. As we can't hurt but ourselves.
And I just f-in' like myself. (Once I said to my beloved friend "Sorry for cursing". An' he said: "You know I like cursing. It's much better than sadness. But best if you can connect happiness and cursing." Well, in remembrance of him I wrote what I wrote.)
I wish I could keep up my head and always look up and ahead in the future which I create
n o w
by feeling what I feel, focusing on what I focus on, sending out and so attracting the vibration I'm sending out now by feeling what I feel. Just like a
Thank you for sharing.
I love you.
I really do.
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